Today was really great.
I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.

I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard. And Yale. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes?

Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.

I want to tell the world that my girlfriend Amy is the bomb! She made pizza last night, and even though I burnt my lips on the cheese, it was awesome!!!

I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my girlfriend in the nude (but don't tell her that I've posted them here - she'll kill me! Har har.)

I want to say thanks to simon and Abbey and Dave and the other Simon for helping me on Saturday. You guys are the best. By the way, if you happen to find my wallet, keys or underwear, could you SMS me? Adrian has my number.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, which makes me different enough to be interesting, but the same as all the other cool people with bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.

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its been too long... i guess ive turned into a myspace whore. i prefer it... all my friends are on it and it has lots more features... not sure why im typing this though, theres no one here to comment, lol...

moving day, its moving day!

ed sent me pics of the truck...

Click here if you wanna see.

i also got to view my mom. but i don't believe i'll be shareing that.

i fly out this coming week or two, gotta get the ticket. i'll be stowing ravyn with my nanna and aunt since mom does not need a toddler around while she begins reccooperation.

my mommie was in a car wreck today. a bad one.

the speed limit is 70 mph in her area. she was coming home. she swirved to miss something, her tire blew, and she lost control of the truck. she rolled the truck 10 times before it rested on its side. witnesses say it rolled more. they used the jaws of life to cut the roof off and pull her out. they were shocked to find her alive.

she was in surgery all day today. she has pins in her fingers and arm, and a permenant seven screw plate in the ulna which is the small bone in the arm, was placed in her arm. she crushed her left wrist, broke both hands, all bones in them.... a laceration of 4 inches on her upper right arm, had stitches... she broke her upper left rib and is black from left shoulder to her right hip... she also broke her pelvic bone.

the doctors say she is lucky to where she broke her hip. it was clean and should heal with no problems. her right hand too as well as the rib. her left arm will be nearly unuseable though. she's lucky. the doctor's don't understand how she can come away with only broken bones, even if they did need some extra help to mend.

she has black eyes and broke vessels in her eyes. but her vision, so far, seems fine.

i could have lost my mommie today. ed could have lost the only being he really needs. he said so too. he called me immediatly from the hospital. i'll get to talk to her tomorrow when he's there so he can hold the phone to her ear.

he said she doesn't remember anything except a loud bang. my poor mommie. i would not be able to handle it if she had died.

God, was watching her today. He had His arms around her while that truck rolled. He kept her alive, for us, for me. He reminded her to wear her seatbelt. Because the doctors said that if she hadn't been wearing it, she would have broken her neck and more against the windsheild and other things.

I love my mommie. She reigns up there with Ravyn, CLayton and God himself. Without her, i couldn't make it. It's because of her I manage today.

yeah, ive moved to myspace. but i guess ill post here just encase some of you that read this wanna see... thats all but what, 3 people? lol...

life's ok. ummm... family reunion went more then just ok. i had a blast needless to say.

ummm... found an old friend, mourned the loss of another friend, again... finaly started my period after 5 months of worry. taking fat pills, lol. a little late on some bills but thats ok cuz well get it covered. we coulda took the easy way out and used some of the money dad gave me but no... i guess trying to be an adult actualy starts to pay off on the morals of your consiousness. i guess....

yeah, that's about it. life's ok. just mulling over something once more cuz old people with old memories dredged these thigns up... damn that. but all is well... i hear a calming voice tell me inside my head.

i.... don't.... post... here.... anymore....

guess it's all myspace from here on out, hmm... SO

if you're a wantin' ta know about me fourth o' july... head over to me myspace....

blah!

i wanted to share with those of you who either don't believe quitting smoking is a very hard, very psychological and physical thing to muster. i have with me the nicotine transdemal system, a stop smoking program my father bought me so that i can quit. he bought me the strongest one with hopes i would use it and it would work... i want to share with those of you who some info from the Habitrol Take Control Support System pamplet, and the cd that comes with it....

"Dependence on a cigarette is a two fold problem: the physical side of addiction to the nicotine and psychological side. Prepareing to deal with both in advance will help make quitting easier and more comfortable.

"As you know, smoking is addictive. Nicotine, the addictive agent reaches your brain in just seconds after each puff. Your brain and body get used to functioning with a certain level of nicotine. Withing a few hours of your last cigarette, your nicotine level drops dramatically, resulting in withdrawal symptoms for most smokers.

"Common withdrawal symptoms include intense craveings for nicotine, irritability, anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping, and increased appetite. Physical withdrawal symptoms peak within 24 to 72 hours after quitting,then decline over the next several weeks. Some smokers, however, may experience withdrawal symptoms for several months.

"Over time you've created strong associations or 'triggers' to light up a cigarette. Sometimes you smoke for comfort: 'smoking helps me relax' or 'i don't feel as angry when i smoke'. Sometimes it seems to make a social situation more enjoyable. At other times you smoke out of habit: 'i light up as soon as i get in the car,' 'i smoke when i'm taking a break at work' or 'because i am so used to smoking , i feel uncomfortable without a cigarette in my hand."

There's more, much more, but I just wanted you to see the problems one that wants to quit may face. My dad... it took him two days. He smoked since he was 13, and he smoked nearly 2 packs a day. My mom, she smoked since she was 21. It took her a month or two to quit, and even now, you can catch her sneaking a cigarette. Me... i've only been smoking for 5 years. and you can scratch a good year out of that when i was pregnant. so for 4 years i've smoked. how hard is this going to be? very hard. the system says that i must be ready to quit, then i must prepare. i'm not ready, not yet. but i will be. it may take me a few more weeks but i will ready myself, then prepare to quit this mind and body altering drug.

So... I am now Mrs. CLayton D. Russell III. Mrs. Russell. Jayme L. E. Russell. Hmmm.... WHOO HOOO!!!

The wedding was awesome! I was so freaking scared though. When it came to that time, my body seized up and I became stiff as a board. And it shows in pictures too. We get up there and Steve winks at me, a couple times actualy to chill me out I'm sure cuz it was more then evident I was scared. Then, when I finaly got to turn to face Clayton, he was grinning the biggest grin I've ever seen and there were tears in his eyes. It was so wonderful!

When it came time to recite vows, I choked up. I couldn't help it. It was too moving for me not to. Then entire time Clayton had my hands in his, he was caressing them and squeezing them, to give me reassurance I'm sure. And when Steve pronounced us husband and wife... woah...

It was so wonderful though... Everyone was so nice and welcoming to us. We fed each other cake... we shoved cake into each other's faces... I got it in his ear, he got it down my dress... LOL! It was awesome!

The decorations were so beautiful! My mom, aunt Wanda, Chris, and whoever helped when I disapeared to go get my hair done, did such wonderful jobs on the decor! It was so beautiful for me! The cake tasted so good! It was pink too! Thre food.... the people... It was SO awesome!!

Dad got us a room at the Sheridan. THat was the coolest thing! The hotel was so... so rich inside! And our room! Man!! Was like an apartment! A huge king size bed! And the bathtub was so big, we though about inviting all our friends to come over and go swimming!! We lit all the candles around the tub, opened our huge bottle of champagne and drank romanticly while watching a bit of Austin Powers on the big screen TV, LOL! Don't worry, when we first entered the room, we consumated the marriage, hehehe... And then again in the tub. And then again outside of the tub. And once more before we fell asleep. And then when we woke... LOL!!!

The next morning we checked out and walked down to Panera's to have some lunch. Mom and Ed met us there. It was such a wonderful morning as our first morning as newlyweds!

Sunday we celebrated Ravyn and Cassandra's birthday's together at Chuck E. Cheese's. My Aunt Dorinda came with her grandkids. All the parents were there too!!! Minus Bud and Nancey though. They had to get back to PA. But it was almost as much fun as the wedding itself!!!

My weekened was the best ever! I can't think of a weekened I had that I enjoyed as much! I'll never forget my wedding, that's for sure! It was exactly everything I had hoped it would be! Clayton was so damn gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes off of him. And he couldn't take his off of me! SIgh... dreamy sigh....

it be thursday yo! 2 more days... or 3 kinda really... umm... everyone comes in friday. all the parents had to come in at the last minute. what the hell is up with that? not sure about my dad yet but if he isn't here by today, then it'll be tomorrow. he knows better then to miss this. he better not.

probably getting a limo for the bachlorette party friday night. not sure why but i figure... let's drive around the freaking town, sipping cocktails or martinis or something, waving to people out on the streets and acting like we're movie stars.

confirmation on crystal's dress has just come in. i saw in with my own eyes. it's pretty. although, it looks like it's neckline is a plunger. if it is, we'll have to send someone with a mad dash to joanna's fabrics or something to buy a pretty piece of cloth that matches that can go nicely on the inside. the shoes are cute too. i'm sitting back thinking, they look better then me. sarah's got the awesomest shoes though. not sure what her dress looks like but crystal's is pretty. ravyn is going to be the most adorable kid in the world and alex looks like a small gentleman. not sure on cassandra yet... OH NO!!! it just dawned on me!!! since his mom isn't coming in till late friday night, when are we going to find the time to find her a dress?!?! damnit! mad dash to the stores tomorrow sarah? no time friday unless it's like 9 AM.

clayton's gonna be so damn handsome it'll be hard for me to not jump him on the spot. his outfit is a great color for him too. and that tie... i'm already feeling the akwardness of the walk and stareing at him. i'm gonna have to stare at stever or the trees behind him or something.

2 and a half more days left sarah! i'm gonna be an old married woman. even though i've been feeling like that for quite awhile now.

somebody better have my smokes on hand should i need one or i'm carrying them in my bra!

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.

In his opening address he said,

"We can't keep Christians from going to church."

"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth."

" We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their saviour."

"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."

"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ.."

"This is what I want you to do," said the devil:

"Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.

"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.

"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."

"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10- 12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."

"Keep them from spending time with their children."

"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"

"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."

"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive." To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical mus ic constantly."

"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."

"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."

"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."

"Invade their driving moments with billboards."

"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.."

"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. "

"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."

"Give them headaches too! "

"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."

"That will fragment their families quickly!"

"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death."

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."
"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."

"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead."

"Keep them busy, busy, busy!" !

"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."

"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus."

"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."

"It will work!"

"It will work!"

It was quite a plan!

The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.

Having little time for their God or their families.

Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.

I guess the question is, has the dedevil been successful in his schemes?

You be the judge!!!!!

Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?